Are you a boy non-binary, or a girl non-binary?

December 14, 2025 @ 22:02

_{Hello! Just thought I'd give a quick note that this is a very opinionated post, so if you have different thoughts and opinions on the subject feel free to let me know!}

Something I've always found really strange around trans and non-binary areas on the internet is the use of the terms "AMAB" and "AFAB". "AMAB" meaning "Assigned Male At Birth," and "AFAB" meaning "Asigned Female At Birth." Something I've heard, (though it's heavily debated, look into this yourself after), is that those terms originate from the intersex community in order to refer to one who was arbitrarily or surgically assigned male or female for their bodily composition, which makes a lot more sense to me because male and female AREN'T gender terms. I've always found these terms so weird because to me, male and female refer to a person's sex. The physical reproductive properties of someone's body that do play a role in how it interoperates with another sex, and not gender, the arbitrary social construct humans designed around sexes. I don't like being referred to as an AMAB non-binary person, because it feels like someone's calling me a boy non-binary. I imagine it to be a similar feeling to that of a lot of transgender people when transphobic people attempt to make a distinction between a woman and a trans-woman. I'm non-binary because I am not comfortable associating with many of the traits expected of a "man" or a "woman." I am male, and that won't change without serious surgical procedures, but I'm not a man.

Similarly, I've noticed that a lot of information about looking androgynous or dressing as a non-binary person is exclusively focused on looking more masculine. I think a big part of this is the fact that western society values masculinity as superior to femininity. Tomboys have been a relatively well-accepted thing in society compared to, and I mean this not as anything other than the base-level meaning of the term, femboys. See? You saw that word, and you chuckled, chortled, maybe you weren't expecting to see it. That or I'm attempting to call you out for nothing. Typically, people react much more seriously to the idea of someone giving up masculinity to be more feminine. They see it as unusual or perverse, because again, society values masculinity much higher than femininity. Of course a woman would want to be a man, but why on earth would anyone want to go the other way? I firmly believe our society is grounded on a sexist belief that women and femininity are inferior to men and masculinity, and a generally bigoted belief that anything other than the default (cisgender, masculine, white, Christian, etc.) is wrong or inferior.

I'm especially grateful to be a gay, non-binary, Jewish, left-handed person... (left handed is the WORST one)

Side-note, I joke there but I do genuinely like being different. Being normal sucks. I'm an odd little goober and nobody can tell me what to do >:)

Anyway, there's been a few times where I've tried to wear something like a crop top, or posted a picture online because I think it's cute (:3), and felt worried that people might see it as bad or perverse compared to literally a cisgender woman wearing the exact same clothing, because they're "supposed" to be wearing it and I'm not. I want to be non-binary and not care how I'm perceived, but it's a near constant fight to not be seen as anything other than a man to people. It's so weird, especially when even in the non-binary sphere there seems to be so much more acceptance for XX non-binary people than XY.

I dunno man, it's just strange.

Also wow that was the most robotic way I could have explained that -- "The physical reproductive properties of someone's body that do play a role in how it interoperates with another sex" -- "interoperates"? Ok nerd